Why so much passion? Why is there so much passion in the debate about homosexual people in the life of the Uniting Church? After the Mardi Gras, the Insights mailing list is aflame with argument, and no doubt New Times and Insights etc will get another round of angry letters. I ask this question of myself because I believe the heat of the argument betrays us. Where people are at ease with themselves, even difficult issues can be worked through with out too much fire and thunder. So what are we hiding from ourselves, given that the argument has raged intermittently for years, brutalising people on all sides? Since I ask this question of myself, then I will give my answers, for I am as passionate as any one. ALIENATION Within a week of starting school I was also on a long journey of not fitting in. The big kids who ruled the school gate made my life a misery. I became a target. Years of bare acceptance (on a good day) have left a deep wound; a kind of barely healed psychic scab, which intermittently reddens and weeps. Something has knocked the top off again. Why is this? It's because a group in the church wants homosexual people and their friends out. Forget all the other talk about faithfulness to the gospel etc. I can tell when I am not wanted. My childhood was spent learning the signals. The message is clear- You are not like us, we do not want you." So I am passionate. All my memories rise up and haunt me. It does not matter that this is not the spoken message of some conservative leadership. It is the acted out message of other church members to homosexual people. My friend has been forced out of his congregation- I cannot escape the fear I will be next. WHO IS NEXT It's not that I'm gay. But I have gay, lesbian, and bisexual friends. Some of these really are among my best friends. They are people for whom I have a great fondness. They are people whose giftedness I admire. They seem not to be any greater sinner than I- or than EMU people I know. Indeed their commitment to the gospel is admirable. If I were to get into the judging game- well, perhaps I'd say their discipleship is preferable to me! Beyond my friends I see a progression. Once the church is rid of these sinners, I will be next of the list of some fear ridden conservatives who need us all to agree with them. FEAR AND LOATHING of what? What is so bad about homosexual 'activity?' What is it that these people do, which is so bad? Think of all the things two women or two men might do together. I have a hard time imagining anything that heterosexual couples don't do anyway! Are our conservative brothers and sisters terribly devoid of sexual imagination, or is the real agenda to get into our bedrooms and prescribe everyone's sexual behaviour. Perhaps they are afraid of their own sexual desires and so projecting their guilt onto the rest of us! I've read all the conservative stuff about what our bodies are designed for, and what Paul 'said' (but what did he mean?), and I am not. What I feel lurking around far too often is "We Don't Like Sex."
Or is it plain prejudice? I keep hearing 'these people' are all promiscuous or child molesters. It's not true. So are we scape goating them rather than facing the issue that our husband, or our son is a monster, or our wife has seduced little children? - or that we have such temptations ourselves? HOW MUCH AM I THE PROBLEM? My fear of exclusion, when it is aroused, leads to anger and hostility. How much do I cause other people, already afraid of the changes among us, to be more afraid? How much do they fear their will be no place for them, unless I am defeated and pushed out? Picture: Hieronymous Bosch |
WHO HAS A PROBLEM?