One Man's Web

Working Man

Prayer of a Working Man

I  am exhausted, Lord

weary to shaking

sick in my guts

and beyond thinking

 

I gave everything to this

but it was not enough

I listened

I took notes

I studied

and I got it wrong

 

not just not good enough

not just too slow

dead wrong

 

my little kernel of self esteem feels smashed open

and drained away

 

Am I a fool to hope I can do this job?

Should I just face the fact

that I am not good enough 

and never was

always was a failure

who had big ideas

but was never really competent

at anything

 

 

and leave the snide remarks behind

forget the foolishness of trying to do well

while others lie and whinge

and are lazy

 

but I cannot walk out

 

or there will be no [pay

and then no food

no house... I dare not think

 

but how long, Lord, can I go  in this

carrying m screaming soul home

struggling reluctantly back in the mornings

burdened with family worries as well

 

let me lie out on the path and

look up to the stars

let me feel you there around me

in the warm dark night

 

 

but I need remaking first

© Jan Thomas

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