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Let go! I know a person in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows. And I know that such a person—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows— was caught up into Paradise and heard things that are not to be told, that no mortal is permitted to repeat. On behalf of such a one I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. 2 Cor 12:2-6 We are sitting in a small bible study about 1980. All of
us are involved in working with aboriginal people in some way, and the
discussion has moved to what the tribal group we are working with, have to give
up from their culture to be really Christian. I am not at ease with the tone of
the conversation. Even then I am aware that we whites too, are trapped in our
own culture. I let the conversation flow around me, withdrawing to my own
thoughts. ''What do we whites have to give up of our culture? I ask
myself. But I am proud of my ego and self control. I keep a clear head as others panic around me. I am awake to the charlatans and the spiritually dangerous, who prowl our spiritually illiterate society. With intellect and reason, I have fought my way around and through the fundamentalism of religion. I have avoided the foolish physicalist and ''scientific" fundamentalisms of Dawkins and others. With self control I have avoided much of the excess of our society. Yet l am happiest when I am engrossed in a task , when my-self is forgotten and focused somewhere else, and I am not thinking of me and staying in control. This little ekstasis, this little stepping outside of myself, is a sign, a hint of that which I long for, and yet some how fear. Peter Russell writes of the pure consciousness which sits below the noisiness of our ego: –waking, dreaming, and deep sleep. In waking consciousness we are aware of the world perceived by the senses. In dreaming we are aware of worlds conjured by the imagination. In deep sleep there is no awareness, neither of outer world nor inner world. In samadhi there is awareness, one is wide awake, but now there is no object of awareness. It is pure consciousness–consciousness before it takes on the various forms and qualities of a particular experience. From his book From Science to God... my eBook copy does not have standard page numbers. Why would we want this? –our bodies and their appearance, our history, our nationality, the roles we play, our work, our social and financial status, what we own, what others think of us, and so on. We also derive an identity from the thoughts and feelings we have, from our beliefs and values, from our creative and intellectual abilities, from our character and personality. These, and many other aspects of our lives, contribute to our sense of who we are. Such an identity is, however, forever at the mercy of events, forever vulnerable, and forever in need of protection and support. If anything on which our identity depends changes, or threatens to change, our very sense of self is threatened....... From his book From Science to God... my eBook copy does not have standard page numbers. He writes from a Buddhist perspective, but is surely writing of very basic human experience. How tired we become of life, forever striving, maintaining an identity, struggling with fears, limitations, and age. We fight off the shallow temptations of consumerism, which still threaten to drown us by their very volume. Loss of employment, bereavement, or other tragedies tear at the fabric of our selves. Victory, freedom and salvation are but some of the words we Christians use to describe our escape from the same fragile self-ish-ness Russell describes. Russell goes on to say,
He quotes St Theresa: ... if his castle is the soul, there can clearly be no question of our entering it. For we ourselves are the castle: and it would be absurd to tell someone to enter a room when he was in it already!
All my fears and cautions rear up from my well-schooled intellect. I am who I am, I want to cry-- with none of the veiled, existential sense of Yahweh's statement to Moses (Exodus 3:13)-- even though I have little idea of who I am! "Full on" 20th century rationalism surges to the fore. I am grounded, trapped indeed, in the ego. I cannot be other than me! I would be lost without me... if I let go-- that way lies insanity. Yet we forget our own longings, and the hymns we sing. Lost in wonder, love and grace, we sang. What did we mean? Was it just words, or is there not a deep sense in which we long to be over-whelmed, floating, held, no longer holding ourselves together... and to cast our egotistical crowns down before the Divine? Direct Biblical quotations in this page are taken from The New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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